Burning (PAVAD: FBI Romantic Suspense Book 11) Read online

  He’d die for her, simply because she was one of the rare people that he loved. And he loved Lucy, as well. Cody looked at the house again. It was beautiful, the kind of place she would love for Lucy to grow up in. There were kids’ bikes in the drive of the house next door. There were people walking babies in strollers. It was a good, family-friendly neighborhood. Lucy would probably love it. The house even had a small turret on one end.

  She stepped inside.

  Chapter 25

  Sin wanted to apologize and she wasn’t at PAVAD when he went looking. She’d taken a personal day, apparently. His fault? To move? Why? He took his lunch hour early and headed to her building.

  He was waved through security with a nonchalance that he didn’t appreciate. If he hadn’t known that Merrick was moving out of the complex he probably would have lit into the guard.

  The guy was more than just delinquent in his duties. He was lazy. He’d mention it to Merrick before he left.

  She was moving out, but there were still too many others living in the building who could be victimized. Like her elderly neighbors, for instance.

  He knocked on her door.

  She answered looking beautiful like she always did. And she wasn’t alone. A big black guy stood in the center of her foyer, holding a large packing box. Merrick had a smaller one on her hip.

  “Sin. What are you doing here?”

  Her face immediately tightened. He refused to let himself tense in response. “I have a few questions for you. I didn’t realize you had company.”

  “Have you ever heard of leaving work at the office?”

  “I’m just heading out. I was going to put this in the car, Cody. I’ll drive that load over to the house and unload it for you,” the other guy said.

  “Do you need the keys?”

  “I still have a spare set from Luc. He’ll turn them all over to you after you’re moved in completely. Call us if you need any more help. We are excellent movers at Lucas Tech.”

  She laughed. “I know. I think this will be a lot of it. The apartment was mostly furnished when I moved in.”

  Sin waited, as patiently as possible, for the guy to leave. When he was gone she shut the door behind him, and turned to Sin. “How can I help you?”

  “I heard you were moving.”

  “Yes. I’m heading over there now. As soon as you leave.”

  She was short with him, and how could he blame her? He hadn’t exactly been polite when he’d left her the last time.

  “Merrick…I…” She walked by him and he stopped her with one hand. What the hell was he supposed to say? “I didn’t…I. Dammit. I never know what to say to you.”

  “You aren’t usually at a loss for words when you’re picking fights.” She pulled her arm away from his hand. She bent over and moved a box out of the chair. Then she looked back at him. “Why are you really here? Any questions about a file could have waited until I returned to work tomorrow. I have today to get me and Lucy moved. I’m tired, busy, and stressed. I really don’t need an argument with you on top of that.”

  “I’m not here to argue.” Would it always reduce down to tension and anger between them? He hated that. He wanted her to look at him the same way she did his brothers—or that damned billionaire.

  Well…maybe not quite the same way she looked at those other men. But he wasn’t ready to think about that now.

  “Then why are you here?”

  Because the instant her face had popped into his head he hadn’t been able to get her out. What would she think if he told her that? “To apologize.”

  “I remember your last apology.” Guarded blue eyes looked straight at him. “I’m not interested.”

  “I’m sorry for what I said.”

  “Sure you are. You, the great and infallible Sinclair Lorcan, who has never made a mistake in his entire life? Somehow I don’t think so.”

  More temper boiled inside him, but he forced it down.

  No one on this earth made him flat out feel more than this damned woman ever had. That had him pausing for a moment. Why? Why was it always her that churned him up this way? “Dammit, Merrick. You never make things easy, do you?”

  “For you? Remind me again why I should?”

  Because everything between them had always been difficult. From that first meeting when they were kids. Whenever Sin would visit his brother and sister, Merrick would be there. A part of everything that he wasn’t.

  He’d definitely resented that. And then she had married Sebastian.

  Why had he resented her for so long? Because of her connection to the part of the family that he had lost the day his father died? It made sense didn’t it? But that hadn’t exactly been fair to her, had it? He’d been a definite ass to her. No wonder she didn’t trust him.

  “You’re staring. Stop that. I hate it when you do that.”

  Did he stare at her that often, then? He didn’t remember. Hell, maybe he did. “You’re beautiful. Men stare. I stare; I can’t help it.”

  “Not while they are glaring at you, they don’t. But then I should be used to it. That’s typical Sin. Stare and glower, stare and glower. Look, I don’t need this. Say what you want to say. Accuse me of whatever you want. Then go.”

  He bit back the instinctive retort the urge to snap at her. She looked tired, and stressed. And the apartment still smelled faintly of smoke. He needed to touch her; he tangled the fingers of one hand into the dark curls. She stopped moving and stared at him. “I’m not here to accuse you of anything.”

  “Then get out your files, and let’s get you taken care of. I need to check on Margaret before I leave. She’s moving in with her granddaughter today.”

  “The files are just an excuse.” Time for honesty, wasn’t it? “I wanted to say I’m sorry. And I’m sincere. I saw you with that damned billionaire, and I reacted.”

  “His name is Luc, not damned billionaire. And he saved my life.”

  “I know. And I will be eternally grateful for that. I’m sorry for what Schild did to you.” Sorry he hadn’t been around at the time. “And I’m sorry I’m bringing it all up for you again. That I’m putting you in a position to search out another traitor in your department.”

  She closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. Was silent for a long moment, to the point he started to think she was going to just shut him out completely. When blue eyes opened again, they were damp. His fingers tightened on her hair for a moment.

  “Merrick? Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong so that I can help.” So that he could fix it, take the pain in those eyes away.

  She made him want to slay dragons, didn’t she?

  ***

  What was wrong? Everything. Everything in her life had been turned upside down in hardly any time at all. Cody didn’t know what to say, how could she? And to Sin? Why him? “I’m afraid. Terrified that it’s someone I know. Someone I trust. Or even love. I know it’s not Payton or Kelly or Ally or Sam or Mari, but maybe it’s someone in my department, like Eric or Mike or Rick. Someone that I should be able to see through. I hate not having the trust that we used to.”

  And she couldn’t tell anyone about the tampering—except the man standing in front of her.

  Almost holding her. Comforting her. Confusing her.

  One thing was a definite fact—Sin Lorcan had always done one hell of a job confusing her.

  Today was no exception.

  “I need…I need to get this stuff moved. Then we’ll talk about the files you wanted.”

  He slowly pulled his fingers out of her hair. Why—when—had he done that? “Like I said, they were just excuses. I didn’t come over here for work, Merrick. Not at all.”

  “I see.” She didn’t. The disagreement they’d had at Luc’s the other night had been one of their tamer encounters, hadn’t it? So why had he felt the need to make a special trip? She would never understand this man, of that she was positive. “Maybe so. But…I think I may have found something for you. It’s in my car.”

>   He surprised her by bending down and grabbing two of the boxes at her feet. “I’ll follow you to your new place and help you get this inside, then. We’ll talk there.”

  Chapter 26

  He followed her like a puppy. Something no doubt she was used to. The house she parked in front of was a nice, upper class family home in a neighborhood he knew she couldn’t afford on her Bureau salary.

  That damned billionaire, of course. He climbed out of the car and waited for her to join him.

  “Nice place.” Why did she accept a house? Didn’t she know what it looked like to outsiders? Still, he respected the idea that she didn’t care what people thought. Always so strong, wasn’t she?

  But then again, he knew that she necessarily wasn’t, didn’t he?

  She sighed. “Yes, it is. And it was one of Luc’s so if you have any snide remarks, go ahead and make them now.”

  “Nothing here. Though people don’t understand your relationship with him. And now he’s putting you up in a house like this.” A beautiful home that people would definitely envy.

  “Luc is a friend, a close one. This is a house he owned at one time and used for market research. But my name is on the deed now, and Luc and I worked out a deal. And that’s all anyone needs to know. Any other detail is between me and Luc.”

  Sin held up a hand. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s a nice house.”

  She didn’t say anything, just reached into the back of her car and started pulling out boxes. Sin grabbed the heaviest one before she could.

  “Lead the way.”

  She turned and headed up the sidewalk. She sat the boxes down at her feet then slipped her keys in the lock. Then typed something into the keypad. She surprised him when she placed her palm against another panel. The door slid open. He had to admit he was impressed with the security system. She and her daughter would be safer in this house than in her apartment, wouldn’t she? “Those are all from Lucy’s room. I’ll bring my things over after you leave.”

  Sin followed, then got his first look at the house. The entryway was beautiful and it was obvious whomever had decorated the place knew what they were doing.

  It was warm and inviting and he almost imagined he could see a bunch of kids running down the hardwood in the hall.

  She led the way to her daughter’s room and Sin set the boxes on the bed.

  “There’s a table in the dining room. We can work there for a few minutes. And then I have to unpack.”

  “Of course.” What else was he supposed to say to her?

  Whenever he’d felt uncertain of anything in the past Sin had always immersed himself in his work or whatever project was nearest. “I would be happy to help you unpack her things. I know this move was completely sudden.”

  She looked up, clear surprise on her face. “I have most of it organized. Luc is having some of her furniture brought over tonight so there isn’t too much shock. And he’s promised to buy her castle bunkbeds in the morning.”

  “They’re that close?”

  “He’s her godfather, if that’s what you’re asking. Without him, I wouldn’t have her. It’s as simple as that. He gave me the greatest gift of my life. I’ll never forget that.”

  “I see.”

  “You have Tyler. I never thought I’d have a child, Sin. Lucy is the best part of my life and always will be.” She smiled as she said it, and the love she felt for the child was right there for him to see. He understood it; he felt the same way with his son.

  “Why would you think that? You’ll eventually remarry. Still plenty of time for you to have more children if you want.”

  As soon as he said it, Sin knew he’d screwed up. She paled, and the box in her hand slipped to the bed. “Merrick? What did I say?”

  “I can’t have children, Sin. When I was married to your brother something happened and I lost that ability.” She bent down and picked up the box. Little girl toys had spilled out over the pink carpet. He grabbed a doll that had landed near his feet.

  “I’m sorry.” She’d always wanted children; of that he was certain. It would have devastated her, wouldn’t it? “I didn’t know.”

  “It wasn’t something we talked much about. Seth knew. I’m not sure if Sarah did. Sebastian was out of town, and the hospital called Seth. But it’s over, and things worked out the way they were supposed to.” She took the doll and started arranging it and the four others on the built in shelf.

  Sin hurt for her, at the pain still in her words. Seth had known, but he hadn’t. There was so much of her life that he had missed, wasn’t there? Why did that bother him so much? He covered by opening another box and pulling out little girl clothes. He carefully arranged them in the dresser nearby.

  “How do you know someone is tampering with evidence? I’ve only found two anomalies in my department. Things that could be completely random.” Her desire to change the subject was completely understandable.

  “A combination of things. Dennis has his own ways of gathering intel. There has been chatter that PAVAD secrets are for sale, for the right price. Information is finding its way into the wrong hands too quickly. And some recent operations have been compromised. Not to mention what happened with Hernandez. He said someone was paying him for anything that might discredit Dennis.”

  He was distracted for a moment by Lucy’s toys. Dolls and pink and purple were everywhere. He hadn’t known they made pink Legos, but it made sense. Blocks, dolls, toys, tiny clothes and shoes—it put things in real perspective, didn’t it?

  Every agent in PAVAD was a human being, someone with a family who cared about them. With parents or children or lovers. Someone fucking with the integrity of that angered him—for each and every member of the division. For his brothers, their wives, baby Maddie who had won his heart with a slobbery grin.

  For Lucy and for Merrick, who didn’t deserve to have the safety of her world violated again.

  He’d do whatever he had to keep them all as safe as he possibly could. “I want them. I want whomever is responsible to pay for putting everyone in jeopardy. It pisses me off that the people I care about have been threatened. And it pisses me off that you were hurt before. Because you are one of those people. I may not have ever shown it, but…I do care about you. And I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

  Chapter 27

  He cared? She didn’t know what to say to him. Twenty plus years of history existed between them, and that was one thing that hadn’t ever changed.

  She looked at him, carefully arranging Lucy’s socks and undershirts in the top drawer like the positioning would make all the difference to the little girl. “Thank you. We’ll find them. You will. I know you won’t stop until you do.”

  He had his habitual frown on his face, but she didn’t think it was because he was angry. He was always so serious, wasn’t he? Unlike Seth, who seemed to always be joking about something.

  Or Sebastian who always seemed so calm.

  So different, to be so much alike.

  “Once we finish in here we can head to the dining room. Luc said he had the kitchen stocked as a welcome gift. I can make us something to eat. And we’ll talk. I’ll show you what I’ve found, and let you decide what to do with it.”

  “That’ll be fine.” He said nothing else and she could easily see that he was feeling awkward after his revelation. And needed a reason to talk about something else.

  Strange, to see Sin so vulnerable, wasn’t it?

  She took the excuse for exactly what it was—a reprieve. They put Lucy’s toys and clothes and shoes in places she would look for them, then headed to the new dining room.

  Cody had never had a dining room before, and the table in this one was big enough to seat at least twelve people at once. There was plenty of room for him to spread his files out over the distressed wood. And he did. She grabbed hers from the bag she kept with her everywhere. Hers were in green files, his red denoting his security clearance.

  “You’ve been written in to access these.
Take a look. I’d like your opinion.” So abrupt, wasn’t he? Rather like Paige’s husband, Mick. Big, gruff, frightening to lesser agents.

  A big burly marshmallow where his wife and soon-to-be adopted son were concerned.

  Was Sin the same way? Why hadn’t she ever considered that? She turned her attention back to the task before them.

  PAVAD was a far safer subject then Sin, wasn’t it? The files beckoned.

  Cody picked up the first one. It was the explosives analysis report from the day Payton had almost died.

  Along with too many of the people Cody cared about. “I was still in the hospital when this happened. I remember…they brought Ally and Kelly to the same hospital where I was. And then Paige, Al, and Payton. They were the last brought in. The last rescued.”

  “Tell me what you remember.”

  She did. It wasn’t enough, was it? “I don’t remember Schild’s attack, Sin. I remember driving home from Smokey’s. And then I woke up several days later. I’ve had nightmares, imagined what had happened. But the worst part is that I can’t remember the details. And the doctors say I probably never will. I remember Paige sitting with me. And Sebastian for a while. When I finally woke up completely Carrie was there because Sebastian couldn’t be. As terrified as she is of hospitals, she was right there beside me so that I wouldn’t be alone. I’ll never forget that.” They had been friends before the attack, but that day had changed things between her and Carrie, and Cody knew it.

  “What do you remember people saying? The gossip?”

  Cody shivered, then sank into the chair. He settled beside her, instead of across from her like she’d expected.

  “I remember the incredulity. The fear. Payton got so lucky, Sin. If Al and Paige hadn’t been in her office to get her out from under the debris that had her trapped she would have died. And Kelly is lucky she didn’t; she’s had two surgeries for burns before everything happened to her recently. After it was cleaned up and everyone was healing we just went on. It was easier that way. It was the first real exposure to what PAVAD would mean to the department. At least for some of us. Me, I guess.”