Wanting (PAVAD) Read online

  He hated that bra with more rancor than he’d hated anything before. He wanted it off of her. One hand made quick work of the clasp, pulled the emerald green scrap off her body and flung it across her living room. It landed on the cat’s climbing tower. Neither one of them cared.

  His left hand rose, he ignored the pulling of the healing stitches, and he touched her very gently. He knew she was hyper-sensitive to any form of touch. He wondered if that sensitivity applied to all the parts of her body. She moaned. He made it a goal to find out.

  His eyes jumped to her face, taking in the flush on her cheeks, the way she wet her lips. The way her whiskey eyes glowed golden in the light from the ceiling fan above them. She was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. “God, Carrie.”

  He stood, lifting her with him, using his good arm more than the other. What did he care if he popped the stitches? He had other more important things to care about. He carried her down the hall to her bedroom, the room he’d seen after the burglary. Her bedding had been replaced with green silk. Green. It was perfect for her. He lowered her to her bed.

  Her clever little hands went straight to the belt holding his pants up. She’d obviously unbuckled a man’s belt before. Her fingers released the snap on his jeans. He felt the brush of her fingers against him, and it nearly brought him begging to his knees. “Hurry, Sebastian, hurry, hurry.”

  He backed her up until the bed was directly behind her. “No, I don’t want to hurry. Don’t want to rush.”

  “But I do. There is time later for more. Please. I need to feel alive.”

  How was he supposed to answer that?

  By giving her what she demanded.

  Chapter 63

  *****

  Carrie woke alone the next morning. Her bed still smelled like him and she wanted nothing more than to stay exactly where she was. He’d left a note on the table beside her bed and she grabbed it.

  What had she done? The night before had been like nothing she’d experienced. For the first time she’d been just as eager, just as much a participant in the physical side of things and it had shocked her. Even with Jeremy, she had not been quite that into sex. Maybe it was just Sebastian?

  Maybe the trust between them was just that great?

  It didn’t bother her when he touched her. Hadn’t in a long time. She couldn’t say that about anyone. What did it mean for them?

  Maybe he’d gotten what he wanted and it meant nothing more than the two of them sharing a night together and getting the heat between them out of their way? Maybe that was why he’d left so early?

  Maybe he’d been disappointed by her, or by the whole act in general?

  For the first time in a long time, Carrie felt doubts surface. With the other men she’d been involved with, the physical side of things was just that—physical. She could have done completely without those few experiences. She hadn’t been with them for sex, anyway.

  She’d determined long ago that the reason she’d slept with those other men was because she wanted to experience what it was like to belong to a relationship the way other people did. Frankly, she hadn’t been overly impressed.

  What she and Sebastian had done the night before eclipsed her previous experiences. In many ways. He had taken the time to make sure she enjoyed every bit of it, asking her opinion and wants each step of the way. For the first time for her, sex was about sharing. Really, truly sharing.

  But…what if it wasn’t for him?

  What if he was just blowing her off this morning?

  Her phone rang before she could think of what to do. She grabbed it, quickly, and flipped it open. “Agent Carrie Sparks.”

  She listened for a moment.

  “I’ll be there in under an hour.”

  Whatever had happened between her and Sebastian, she’d have to deal with it later. Hellbrook needed her. And that was what she would have to handle first.

  ***

  Hellbrook called her into Edward Dennis’s office the moment she arrived at PAVAD. Carrie felt uncharacteristic nerves hit her immediately. Was this about her and Sebastian? Were they about to tell her they couldn’t be together anymore? She was rarely called into the director’s office. He always came to her when he needed a special request filled. “Chief Hellbrook, Director?”

  “Sit down, Carrie. How are you this morning?” Edward Dennis asked.

  “I’m fine, sir.”

  “You will make the mandatory appointment with the counselor regarding the events of last night, of course.”

  “I already placed a call to her office, sir.” Carrie had filled out all the necessary paperwork and suspected that the rest of the day would be busy with the follow up that had to occur after an agent-involved shooting. She fought a shiver. If she hadn’t been out there, Sebastian would be…

  “Excellent.” Edward Dennis grabbed a file off his desk. “Carrie…I know Unit Chief Lorcan told you about the man who showed up here the other day looking for you.”

  “Yes. But I don’t know anyone named Kevin, sir. I know he’s not a relation of my mother’s or my father’s.” Carrie shook her head. Why had someone claimed to be related? What was it they were after? “I don’t understand what he wants.”

  “He claims his name is Detective Kevin Beck. From Dallas. He’s retired Texas State Police.”

  “Still doesn’t sound familiar. Why did he say he was looking for me?”

  “He didn’t. Wouldn’t. Said the business was personal and he would not share it. But I had Agent Len do some digging. This is what she found on him.” He handed her a folder. “He seems legitimate. I thought you might want to have the specifics, do a little digging of your own. When you have downtime.”

  “Thank you, sir. I’ll try to figure out what this man wants. And I’m sorry he involved PAVAD.”

  “I’m happy to help. Now, you should get going. I believe there is a follow up briefing waiting for you and Agent Hellbrook in Conference Room 3B6.”

  Carrie took the folder and barely resisted flipping it open. Now wasn’t the time. Hellbrook walked close at her side down the hallway to the conference room. “Carrie? You doing ok? I know Lorcan called and said he was taking you home. Are you ok?”

  “I’m fine with what happened, Hell. Had I not been in that alley when I was, I know what would have happened. I didn’t choose to shoot Benito, Jr. He chose to put me in a position where I had to. If I hadn’t, Sebasti—Unit Chief Lorcan would be dead. I can’t be happier that the alternative is Benito Jr. dead.”

  Hell studied her for a long moment, giving her that probing look that always made her want to squirm. Carrie lifted her eyes to his. She would not back away. She’d done her job.

  Just because she’d always remember the look on Benito Jr.’s face when the blood finally rushed out of him, didn’t mean she regretted what had happened. He’d chosen a life of crime; she’d chosen to stop him. To her, it just was. “I’m ok, Hell. Sebastian and I talked last night about what I can expect. And he seconded me talking to the psychiatrist. I’m ok with that, too.”

  “No nightmares last night?”

  “Yes. But not about Benito Jr..”

  “About what then?”

  Carrie repressed a shiver. “Hell…there are things that I’ve seen in my past that still give me nightmares. And there is always what happened in South Dakota. I will always have nightmares. I know how to deal with them. Either alone or with people who care enough about me to listen.”

  “Like Agent Lorcan? Carrie…”

  “Please, Hell. Don’t. Sebastian and I…we…”

  “Aren’t really any of my business. So Georgia tells me. But that doesn’t mean I won’t worry about you. It’s kind of hard for me not to. Georgia, Dan, the rest of the team, you, you’re my family. And I care.”

  Carrie surprised them both by hugging him quickly. “I know. And that’s why I can do the things I have to do. Because I know the CCU is where I belong. But Sebastian…I think I belong there, too. For the first time, I really
belong to someone, with someone. Other than Paige.”

  Hell looked at her oddly for a moment. “You were a ward of the state, correct?”

  “From the time I was nine. It wasn’t easy, Hell. If this man Kevin was a relative why is he showing up now? Do I have something he wants? What? I have nothing from my life before the age of nine except a tiny doll and this necklace my mother gave me the day she died. Nothing special, nothing anyone would even want.”

  “Maybe he isn’t a relative. I want you to think—have you angered anyone recently?” He pushed open the door to the conference room. The rest of the CCU waited inside, along with Malachi Brockman. And Sebastian’s team. Carrie looked at the man standing in the far corner. Sebastian stared back, for just the tiniest of moments. He smiled, just for her. She felt her own lips stretch into a matching smile.

  Then she looked back at the man beside her. She and Sebastian would talk later.

  She was certain of it.

  The rest of Carrie’s day was filled with interviews with IAB and the department psychiatrist and her unit chief. They’d all done an excellent job of keeping her away from Sebastian. She half thought that was Hellbrook’s doing, but the other part of her knew that was because the two of them were the principal characters in the shooting of Benito Quirino, Jr.. They couldn’t let them get their stories straight.

  Although she and Sebastian had spent all night together. Thankfully, IAB and the psychiatrist didn’t seem to know that. And Hellbrook and Ed Dennis weren’t mentioning it.

  Al and Paige were bringing Ashleigh in one last time to do a lineup of the employees arrested the night before. Carrie knew Hellbrook and Sebastian strongly suspected one of them of being the man Ashleigh had seen with Elliot Courtney in the basement. One final loose end to tie up and the case would be finished.

  Carrie felt an immense sense of satisfaction at the role she’d played in stopping the criminals. She’d made the world a tiny bit safer. She would never forget that.

  Chapter 64

  *****

  Kevin pulled up to the curb outside Caroline’s building again. He didn’t know why; it was late—too late for him to knock on her door and announce who he was and what he wanted.

  That was one of his problems, one of the reasons he’d procrastinated talking to her this long. Just what exactly did he expect from this child?

  He knew what he wanted from her. He wanted her close to him where he could get to know her and where she could get to be a part of his family. But he doubted that would happen. What right did he have to make those kinds of demands on her? She was obviously happy and secure here in St. Louis. Why would she need the biological father she knew nothing about?

  She wouldn’t.

  The light in her loft flicked on. The one he now knew belonged to her bedroom. He’d been in her apartment; his DNA was probably in her bathroom where the damned cat had scratched him. Kevin hadn’t exactly been thinking of keeping his presence hidden when he’d went in. He’d been thinking that his daughter could have been hurt.

  Now that he knew his daughter worked for the FBI he wondered how long it would be until it became known he was in that apartment without her knowledge?

  Ironically he knew the results of that finding. He’d be the first suspect. And he had no logical alibi.

  Still, he’d weather that storm if it ever irrupted. For tonight he was just satisfied his daughter was home and safe. He’d seen the Bureau SUV parked in the lot when he’d pulled in. She wasn’t alone, then. Her boyfriend was with her. Good. He’d certainly looked like a bad-ass, perfectly capable of keeping Caroline safe for the night.

  She was safe.

  Kevin started the engine. He’d head back to the hotel and call Melody. See what she’d found out about Minton Rush’s whereabouts.

  Rush’s resemblance to the police officer who’d been killed could have been coincidence, after all. And Rush was at least ten years older than Thompson. Would the people Thompson worked with—people trained to notice things—really have not realized it wasn’t Thompson amongst them?

  Kevin pulled his rental vehicle out into the street after a tall man crossed at the sidewalk.

  Kevin gave him only a passing glance as the pedestrian passed under a street light, taking in the way the man limped and the ragged clothing. A homeless man. Something he’d seen thousands of times over the years. Kevin cataloged him, then promptly forgot him.

  It was really farfetched to believe Minton Rush would be in St. Louis. Looking for Caroline.

  Why? What would his old partner want with the daughter Kevin had never admitted he had?

  Chapter 65

  *****

  It was late afternoon before she even had a chance to look at the file Edward Dennis had given her. It was sparse, filled only with the basics about the fifty-seven year old Texas native. He’d worked for the Texas State Police his entire career. Had married at the age of twenty-five. Was widowed recently. He had four daughters. That was just about all the information contained in the documents Edward Dennis’s assistant, Agent Len, had found.

  Carrie wanted to go deeper. Why was a TSP detective so keen on finding her?

  A feeling of trepidation pooled in her gut. Was this about Jeremy? Yes, his family was in Oklahoma, but it was right on the Texas border. And she and Paige had traveled to Texas a couple of times, then decided to head over to New Orleans. Had someone been tracking her this whole time?

  She booted up her laptop and entered Kevin Beck’s details into the program she’d designed for PAVAD. In a matter of moments, she’d have almost everything about the man she would need.

  Ten minutes later she was just as confused. The man had hired three private investigators over the last fifteen years. Why? What could a private investigator do for him that he as a police detective couldn’t do for himself?

  She had the names of his four daughters, the death certificate for his wife, records of his commendations, and every address he’d lived at. What she didn’t have was the why he was looking for her.

  And if he was the one responsible for destroying her apartment, what had made this respected and well-decorated police detective do that? What had made him snap? And what had made him come after her?

  Carrie packed up her bag for the night around five. She slipped the folder in her bag and tried not to think about what it meant.

  Her cell rang, though she had trouble answering it. The keys were locked in a pattern she’d never seen before. She’d have to reprogram it later. There were more important things on her mind, right then.

  She felt like she was going to sink under the weight of everything—Sebastian, this Kevin guy, the break-in, the follow-up of the case. Everything suddenly seemed so overwhelming. She finally got her keypad unlocked on her phone—she hated touch screen and refused the upgrades Hell had offered her—and checked the miss call log. The runaway shelter. One of the two she funded. This one wasn’t the one Ashleigh had stayed at. This one, the Bright Star Haven, was a more long-term care facility. It housed eighteen beds and was intended for runaways between the ages of sixteen and nineteen, though they’d certainly housed much younger teens. Carrie worked there at least twice a month when she could, as did Paige. Calista was the executive director of both shelters, and the call was from her.

  Carrie listened to the problem and promised to be over there as soon as she could.

  But first she needed to see Sebastian. Needed to get some sort of handle on what had happened between them the night before.

  Chapter 66

  *****

  Kevin had read the email from Melody over and over again and it had him literally sick to his stomach. Rush had been paroled from prison fourteen days ago, and had already disappeared. What had sixteen plus years inside done to the former police officer?

  He’d never forget how he’d felt, having to take the stand and testify against the man he’d once considered his best friend. Hell, Rush had been Melody’s godfather!

  Kevin had done
a lot of soul-searching where his former friend and partner was concerned. There was only one term to describe Rush—sociopath. And Rush had been so good at hiding what he was that no one on the TSP had seen through him. Until it was too late.

  And the dead cop that was mentioned on the TV playing in the background at Smokey’s? How could he explain that?

  The cop had been dead close to two weeks. The same time frame since Rush had been out.

  There was only one possible explanation, and Kevin’s years of experience on the Texas State Police had him trusting his instincts. Rush had fled Texas and came straight to St. Louis. To Caroline.

  Why? And how had he known where Caroline was, even before Kevin had?

  The private investigator hadn’t been able to find her until someone had sent him an anonymous email. Why? Who? Had it been Rush?

  How had the incarcerated man had information Kevin hadn’t?

  Kevin pulled out his phone and dialed his oldest daughter’s cell.

  “Detective Melody Beck speaking.”

  “Mel, it’s Dad. Have you learned anything knew?” He’d given Melody everything he had on Minton Rush, and knew his girl wouldn’t stop until she found the answers. She was that dogged and determined. She’d done him proud.

  “I’m on my way, Dad.”

  Kevin frowned. “Where?”

  “St. Louis.”

  “Why?”

  “I just am. I have Brynna with me. And James is tagging along.”

  His daughter’s partner on the Texas State Police. This wasn’t good. By any means. “What have you found out?”

  “James heard back from his contacts at the federal prison where Minton Rush was incarcerated. Dad, I’m driving, and you’re cutting out. I need to go. Just be careful, and...find Caroline before anyone else does!”

  The phone went dead.