Seeking (PAVAD: FBI Romantic Suspense, #15) Read online

  HE DIDN’T STOP to wait for the rest of his team. Ezra drove to the hospital where local PAVAD injuries somehow always ended up. Her supervisor waited in the ER. Ezra stalked over to him. “Where is she?”

  “In the back. Why are you here?” Chalmers looked at Ezra from eyes that no doubt saw too damned much. “She’s doing ok, Ezra.”

  “Sure.” He didn’t stick around to chat. He headed inside the exam area, ignoring Chalmers’ calling his name in exasperation. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

  He flashed his credentials at the bored-looking nurse at the desk. She waved him toward the back.

  Shannon was relatively easy to find after that. She was just finishing up with the doctor when he spotted her.

  She stopped talking the instant she saw him. He grabbed her free hand and pulled her closer. “Damn it.”

  “Ez!”

  “How bad?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “How badly are you hurt this time? Damn, woman, you need a keeper.” She had blood all over her white blouse. The blouse that was now missing its left sleeve.

  “Not quite as bad as I was when you shot me that first time. I take it you’re upset?” The snark was there, of course. But so was the fear, the pain. It all reached out and clawed at him.

  “You’d better believe it.” Now that he could see her, some of the panic was ebbing. When he’d heard she’d been hit, he’d been convinced it was just like every damned victim he’d ever seen. Blood.

  Red. Everywhere.

  He was so damned sick of seeing the red everywhere.

  “I’m ok, Ez. I promise.” Her head lowered to his chest. Those small hands of hers clung in the middle of the hospital corridor. He looked up—her supervisor was in sight. Watching. Ken nodded at him once, shortly. The other guy definitely understood. “I’m bruised where Agent Knight tackled me after the first shot. It was a through and through. Stitches and a painkiller, that’s it. I hit the concrete hard and landed on my wrist. Knight’s not exactly small. But the instant the shot rang out, we were down and behind concrete cover. I’m ok.”

  He wasn’t certain he believed it.

  THERE WAS a wild panic in his eyes. A panic Shannon wasn’t used to seeing. It had some of her resolve to not fall for the man in front of her dissolving like powdered sugar. What she really wanted to do was wrap herself up in his arms and forget for a moment what had been a really cruddy day. Forget where she was. Forget that Jaynice Miller was in the same building, fighting for her life. Forget the fear she’d felt out there today. “It’s barely a flesh wound.”

  She felt the strangest urge to reassure him. The worry...it was hard to miss.

  “It’s more than it needs to be. Wasn’t the damned scene secure?”

  “Of course it was. This guy...was just a good shot. They are still trying to find out where he was located the second time. But we’ll find him eventually.” They’d been certain the shooter had been closer to the small deli near the FBI buildings. But they had apparently been wrong.

  “You will? Aren’t you out for a few days now?”

  Shannon shook her head. He surprised her when he slipped his hands around her waist. Then she found herself snuggled against his cotton shirt. It was light yellow with gray pinstripes running down it. It was soft, and he was warm, and every instinct she had was urging her to snuggle closer. “What are you doing here, Ez? You could have called.”

  SIXTY-EIGHT

  “I needed to see you for myself. No one had any answers.”

  She stared up at him, those eyes of hers burning through him. Did she even have a clue what hell he was feeling right then? He’d never been so scared in his life as when he’d heard that one of the CCU had just been hit and it had been Team Four out there. “There are no guarantees. We both know that.”

  “Hell, I know that. But I need to say it.” There was a damned hole in her arm, and he hadn’t been able to stop it. He’d only been two damned blocks away when it had happened.

  How was he ever supposed to do anything about it? He hadn’t felt so damned useless in a long time. Cam had broken the news, after getting a call from Kyra. All anyone had known was Team Four. He’d seen the same panic he’d been feeling mirrored in Leina’s eyes. “You scared me today.”

  “Scared me, too.”

  “I could kick Chalmers’s damned ass for this.” Ezra knew exactly what the shooter was thinking. Knew the guy had most likely studied them all and focused on the weakest link. The easiest target.

  And the one target most likely to piss off the rest of the agents out there today.

  Her.

  The asshole had winged her for a reason. He knew damned good and well the shooter could have taken her, Chalmers, Stephenson, Knight—any of them—out within seconds.

  No one would have been able to stop him.

  The shooter had hurt Shannon for a reason.

  The sniper could have killed her with a head shot. Ezra knew far too well how that would have looked. He’d never forget what he’d done in the course of his duties, first with the army and then with the FBI. He’d remember every single face that had been in his sights, whether he took the shot or not. Forever.

  There was a professional element in the targeting that had happened today. It wasn’t just some wannabe. Whoever had pulled that trigger had known exactly what he had been doing.

  He pulled her closer. She wrapped her uninjured arm around his waist and pressed against him. He held her as long as she let him. Then she pulled back. “You’d better go. I’m sure Agent Brockman will be looking for you soon. And...thanks. We can...talk later.”

  Ezra fought the urge to just say to hell with it all and scoop her up. Carry her out of the hospital to someplace he could defend. Like warriors of old when their women were threatened. She made him feel exactly like that. Shannon had always brought out the most primitive side of him. Ezra had long admitted that to himself before.

  Surround her with everything he could, just to keep her safe, while PAVAD did the rest of it.

  “You have a ride home?”

  She hesitated, then nodded. Technically, she was still on the clock—they both were. But he’d square it up with his supervisor later. “Ken’s waiting. I’m not supposed to drive.”

  “IA interviewed you yet?” It would be standard procedure to get her initial statement, as well as every other agent out there today.

  “Yes. Phone. We’ll do more formal statements tomorrow.”

  Kyra, no doubt. She’d no doubt gone all little green-eyed guard dog over Shannon immediately.

  “You’re not leaving this building without me. You got me?” There was no real reason to suspect she was still a target. Ezra suspected she had been a target of opportunity.

  He’d seen it before. There would be more victims. It was just a matter of time.

  Hours, at the most. The St. Louis field office had pulled the sniper case, but now...now it was PAVAD’s.

  “How did you hear? Leina?”

  He shook his head. “Cam. I skipped out on paperwork to come over here.”

  “You didn’t have to. Ken’s with me. But I appreciate it.”

  He cupped her cheek. Shannon had the softest skin of any woman he had ever touched. The dozen lopsided freckles were right there. He fought the urge to kiss every one of them. “I was worried. I can’t get you out of my head. It might take me a while, especially if you keep doing things to get my attention.”

  “You’re such a snarkass, Hahn.”

  “What’s the expression? ‘Takes one to know one’? Come on, we’ll check in with Chalmers. Then I’ll get you home. Buy you Chinese and fortune cookies.”

  He’d never felt this gentle tenderness for a woman before. Not his sister; not his teammates. Not his former lovers. Just her.

  Ezra was starting to get the feeling that it would always be just her.

  SIXTY-NINE

  HER TEAM LEADER was in the waiting room, talking away on his cell. Chalmers raised
a brow when he saw Ezra. He disconnected and looked at the two of them. “Hahn? Any particular reason you’re still here when you should be on the clock?”

  “Yeah. Taxi service. Sent by the best Dr. Chalmers.” A stretch, and they all three knew it. Chalmers had a look in his eyes that said the damned profiler suspected exactly why Ezra had suddenly shown up the way he had.

  He didn’t give a damn.

  Ezra didn’t care who got it. Who knew how he felt.

  What mattered was that she did.

  “What do we know so far?” Shannon asked. She was a bit more subdued than he was used to seeing, but the stubbornness was still there. The determination. It was only a matter of time before she insisted on heading back to PAVAD.

  He had no doubt about that. And he was going to be the one to get her there.

  “You are going home. Two days, minimum, medical leave,” her team leader said.

  Ezra saw the stubbornness hit her face immediately.

  “Ken, it’s a scratch. It’s not like it’s even the first time. He hit me worse in Nebraska.” She waved her hand in Ezra’s direction. “Remember that, boys? I can still work. Time is of the essence on this, and you need my skills on this.”

  Chalmers hesitated.

  “Jaynice is an acquaintance of mine, Ken. We’ve worked together before. I want to help find out who did this to her.”

  Shannon’s quiet tone had Chalmers’s face softening.

  Ezra didn’t blame him. When Shannon turned those eyes on a guy, he had to give in. Chalmers frowned down at her, clearly deciding what to do.

  “I’ll clear it with Paige. See if I can be reassigned. You have a sharpshooter to catch.”

  Chalmers’s attention shifted to Ezra. Turned contemplative. “You know anything about this case?”

  “Not yet. I know that the guy who shot her today had to be damned skilled to shoot from that hotel. He had to time his shot perfectly. And it wasn’t easy to do. It takes a sharpshooter of exceptional skill to pull off what he did today. There’s not too many of us out there like that.”

  It hadn’t been random. It had been skill.

  “I’ll clear it with Paige.” Chalmers looked at Shannon, his concern still there for Ezra to see. “Only—and I do mean only—when I tell you to, you can put your little tap-tappers on the keyboard after you go home for the rest of the day. Got me?”

  She held up her hand, two fingers up. “I do solemnly swear to do only what you tell me to do.”

  “Good.” Chalmers glanced at Ezra again. “Welcome aboard. I’ll move you to my team in a few. I’m heading to the St. Louis field office now. Someone’s going to have to meet with Jaynice Miller’s team. Let them know what we know.”

  Ezra winced. He hadn’t ever met the woman, but she was FBI. One of their own. He hoped to hell that she pulled through.

  It could have been Shannon.

  “You take her home. Sit on her there if you have to. Get some rest yourself. I don’t want you if you’re exhausted from the last twenty-four hours in Tallahassee. I’ll call you when I’m ready for you. In the meantime, help Shannon.”

  There were a million silent messages in Chalmers’s expression, and Ezra got it. He was supposed to ride herd on her.

  Keep her from hurting herself worse. To keep her safe.

  Exactly what he wanted to be doing.

  They were both silent until her supervisor was gone and he was leading her out to the truck he’d parked in front of the building. He helped her in by lifting her over the running boards and onto the passenger seat as gently as he could.

  She made him want to treat her like one of those blown glass statues his mother still collected. He almost smiled at that.

  He never would have felt this way about her before that night at Smokey’s.

  Then she looked at him, a knowing look in those eyes of hers. “What exactly are you doing? Be honest. Anyone on my team could have babysat me this afternoon.”

  “I told you. Checking on you. And I do have experience with this kind of killer.” Hell, he was one. He had always known that. “I had to come see you for myself. And Chalmers was right—I’ve been up for twenty-four straight. I watch over you, he can have people out there finding the shooter. This is where I belong. Being your shadow.”

  “Why? Because we’ve slept together once?”

  “Yes.” Because his world had stopped in that heartbeat when he’d heard the words Team Four.

  “You go crazy protective over all the women you’ve slept with?”

  Ezra hesitated. That was a loaded question, if he’d ever heard one. “No. And...I...it had been a while. A long while.”

  “There was Neya, from Accounting just last week. She was bragging all about how you asked her out. And how the two of you didn’t come up for air for three days. In the third-floor restroom, to anyone who could hear. She looked right at me when she said it.”

  He sent her a look. “Listening to gossip, Toliver? I haven’t even spoken to that woman in at least four months. When I did, she terrified me. And that was just over my damned pay withholding. I never dated her, never had sex with her. And if I can help it, I will never be alone with her. The only woman I’ve slept with since I joined PAVAD is currently right next to me. I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “Ezra the Chaste? Somehow I don’t see it.”

  He snorted. One of the things he’d most appreciated about this woman was her humor. Mostly. There were times what she’d said to him burned right through him. But he had to admit, he’d always enjoyed the challenge—and the anticipation of Shannon Toliver. “Ezra, the Discerning. I’m very picky about who I get involved with. Even on impulse.”

  “I’m the lucky one?”

  “I didn’t hear any complaints.” He smirked at her. Some of the panic and fear that had motivated him was lessening as they got closer to her place. “Any of the three times. Or was it four, that night? I didn’t exactly keep track. Did we come up for air?”

  “Seriously? You had to bring that up?”

  “A smart man uses every tool in his toolbox to get what he wants.” And just exactly what he was wanting was becoming more and more clear.

  “And what is it that you want?”

  He shot her a quick look. “I think you know exactly what—who—I want. Who I can’t forget. I haven’t exactly been hiding things from you. Hell, Chalmers knew. Took one look at the two of us a minute ago and probably figured out exactly what happened. Maybe not the details. But he knew. And I don’t give a damn.”

  SEVENTY

  SHE KNEW EXACTLY what he wanted. A part of her wanted the exact same thing.

  Ezra Hahn terrified her. In so many ways. Maybe it was coming so close to dying that made the words come out so openly. Or maybe it was just him.

  And all the stuff they’d gone through all those weeks ago.

  “Ez...where do you see this going? Down the aisle? Because I can’t do casual. I won’t. I’ve tried. Once. It did not go well. And definitely not with someone I work with. What happened after...after the abduction...it wasn’t me. Not the way I normally do things. I plan. And then I plan to plan things. I don’t just jump into anything with both feet. If...if I get involved with someone, I do it slowly. Carefully. You...you’re an about-face I’m not so sure I’m ready to make.”

  “I can understand that. I didn’t expect to find myself wrapped up around you. Either in bed, or in my own head. I dream of you at night. And not the way I used to when you annoyed the total shit out of me.”

  He shot her a look that had her laughing. Ezra Hahn had an understated but extremely sly sense of humor that she was just now beginning to appreciate.

  “You’ve thrown a wrench in my entire world perception. But I’m adaptable. Question is, how big of a chicken are you?”

  “I grew up with four older brothers, Ezra. You’re not going to goad me into doing what you want. Especially into giving you sex.” She was going to make a point just to get that out there. “Even if it w
as good sex.”

  Just in case that’s what he was thinking about.

  And it was a good way to remind herself of every Ezra resolution she’d already come up with.

  “That’s not all I want.” The look he sent her next told its own story. Ezra had most definitely been thinking just that. She was almost certain of it.

  “Sure it’s not. You want me in your bed because you think you can get me there. Probably because of all the antagonism between us before. You like the pursuit. You’re a hunter type.”

  “Warrior. Protector. Conqueror. Not just hunter.” He shot out a hand and caught her free one. He held it on his lap as he drove. Shannon just let him until he let go to get out of his truck and walk around to open her door.

  He stood there with it open for a long moment. His hands burned on her waist where he held her. When had she turned into his arms? When had that happened?

  “I don’t see you as a challenge, Shannon, if that’s what you’re saying. A puzzle I’m interested in solving, most definitely. But not a challenge. I don’t play games with women. I never have...and I never will. You can trust me that way.”

  Her breath caught as he landed on the one fear she’d had in every single relationship she’d ever been in.

  Her mother’s biggest complaint in her marriage had been that she hadn’t been able to trust her father to be there when she needed him. It had taken Shannon a while to realize that her mother hadn’t been talking about when he’d been deployed.

  Because when he’d been home, he’d still let her mother handle almost everything. Almost insisted on it ostensibly so she would learn to be independent for when he was gone.

  Her mother was the most independent person Shannon had ever met. Sherry Gilles Toliver could handle a natural disaster without breaking a nail—and then organize rescue efforts and relief aid without breaking a sweat.

  But her mother shouldn’t have had to do it all alone like she had.

  Shannon had never forgotten that. Nor had she ever been able to get past the trust issue.