In the Beginning... Read online

  “Then you will and we’ll make it work. But first, you’ll have to tell Theo how you feel. I think it will make him happy.”

  “I hope. He’s been alone for over six hundred years, waiting for me, Em. For me. I can’t just walk away from that, from him, and leave him alone like that again.”

  Mickey sat where she was for close to an hour after her cousin left her. She held the journal like a shield against her chest…I am not sure how much longer I can go on without you...

  If she left, what would it mean for him?

  ***

  She was on her way to his suite to ask him those questions when the sound of screaming filled the halls. She ran toward the sound, recognizing Emily’s voice over the others. What had happened?

  Aodhan passed her, as did Cormac and Rydere. They ran toward the gardens and Mickey followed them when she saw Theo with them.

  Theo blocked her before she could follow the others into the gardens.

  “Michaela, no!”

  “But Emily!”

  “They will help her!”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Mickey clung to him as she stared at the monsters in the garden. Wolves that turned into men. The Lupoiux the journal had described? Horrible. Hideous. But why were they inside the inner gardens? Theo had told her there was no outside entrance to the courtyard. How had the beasts gotten inside, and what—or who—were they after?

  Mickey’s knees nearly buckled when one of the guards outside the door pushed Emily through the doors. Theo grabbed Emily and pulled her close. Mickey helped him support her cousin. She was barely aware of what Emily said, or of the questions Theo threw toward Emily. Mickey held the smaller woman and rocked her. Emily kept screaming for Josey, and tears flooded Mickey’s eyes as she put it together in those quick seconds between Emily being pushed inside and Cormac running by holding Josey.

  They’d been after Josey. And they’d gotten her. Hurt her.

  But why?

  “Theo, will she be ok?” Mickey whispered the question as several guards tried to pull Emily away from where she watched outside the window. Was the man who’d taken Emily out there? Mickey thought Rydere had run by, but with so many men dressed in royal white, how was she supposed to tell?

  But instinctively she knew he was, and knew that Emily hurt just as much as Mickey would have if it had been Theo out there battling the wolf monsters. Rydere was Emily’s mate, just as Theo was hers. Hers.

  Several minutes later, Mickey waited outside the suite where they’d taken her cousin. Her best friend. Mallory paced the hallway just outside the door. “Animals. Beasts. All of them. If they’d just left us alone, none of this would have happened.”

  Mickey kept one ear tuned in to her sister, but the rest of her attention was spent praying. To the God she was familiar with. Even to the Goddess that Theo so revered. To any power or deity that would listen. Prayed that her cousin would be alright.

  Theo was there, several long minutes later. He pulled Mickey close and held her while they waited.

  What seemed like hours passed before the healer came out to give them an update. At her words Mickey felt herself collapse into Theo. His arms were there and strong. Just as she’d known they would be.

  “Thank the Goddess.” Theo’s words were filled with the reverence with which he always spoke of his Goddess. His relief was just as strong as Mickey’s. “When can they see their cousin? I know they want to.”

  The healer shook her blonde head. “Not tonight, I’m afraid. Both Jocelyn and Cormac need to rest. Perhaps tomorrow. Aodhan, Theo, take your own Rajnis back to your suites and see that they rest, as well. They have been through a physical ordeal of their own recently. I expected better of you!”

  Theo held her close and Mickey let him, needing his comfort. “Come, Michaela. You heard the healer, you can do no more now. We will return to our suite.”

  She nodded, not resisting when he led her down the corridor to the Sebastos family wing.

  ***

  She was quiet for the rest of the evening, though she stayed close to his side. It hurt him, to feel her sadness, worry. Fear.

  The Lupoiux attack cemented his resolve. Had proven to him that she was far better off as far from the Dardaptoan world as possible. “As soon as your cousin is recovered, I will take you to your brother. You will return home then.”

  She was quiet for a few moments. “I see.”

  Nothing else was said until she stood. “I...I am going to bed now. Wake me if you hear anything else about Josey.”

  “I will. Good night, Michaela. And once again, I am sorry for what I have done. I had no right.”

  ***

  He’d had no right? Was that how he summed up the upheaval he had caused in her life? As something he could apologize away?

  Did he think by sending her away he would make everything all right again?

  It angered her, and she could admit that to herself. Once again he was making the choice for her without considering—or even asking—her what she wanted. She jerked the blanket back, then stripped the tunic over her head. She balled it up and tossed it toward the now closed bedroom door. It was so out of place in the pristine room that she sighed and started to pick it up.

  The book tucked in the pocket of the pants poked her when she bent down. Mickey slowly stood and pulled the journal free.

  As she stared at the gold inlayed on the spine, she remembered the conversation she’d had with Emily minutes before the werewolves had attacked.

  It wasn’t going to be that easy for him.

  Mickey slipped the top back over her head and slipped the book back into her pocket, determination filling her more full than it ever had. She grabbed the velvet jewelry bag out of the nightstand drawer and fastened the necklace inside around her neck. It belonged there, and she knew it.

  It was now or never. She needed answers.

  And there was only one man in the world who could give them to her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Would his world look as bleak as it felt if he could only see it? Theo didn’t doubt it. Would the pain of losing her ever leave him completely? She wasn’t even gone yet and his soul already bled for her.

  He stepped outside onto the balcony, smelling the flowers from the gardens below. The gardens where her cousin could have so easily died. What if it had been his Michaela? He thought about going back inside but decided against it. He couldn’t be in the suite with her, not without falling to his knees and begging her to stay.

  He wiped a lone tear away. He had been strong for six hundred years, he could make it through a few more days. Nothing said he couldn’t keep tabs on her from afar. Just to ensure she was safe, and happy.

  That was his duty as her mate, after all.

  He heard the balcony door open, and he knew it was his Rajni.

  “Theo.”

  He turned toward her. “Michaela.”

  “I’m not going.” Her words were strong, determined, and not for the first time, he wished he could see. Wished he could read her face.

  “You’re not?”

  “No. I’m not saying I believe you. Not about being a destined mate, or a Rajni, or whatever you call it. But I know that I am not ready to leave. I’m not sure if I will ever be.”

  He closed his eyes as a mix of confusion and elation filled him. “What are you saying, Michaela? That you want to stay...with me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I need more than that, my dearest little love.” He kept himself still, forced himself not to cross the balcony and pull her into his arms. That was all he wanted in the world. “I need you to tell me what it is you need in order to be happy.”

  “I need to know if what I read in this book is the truth. And if it was written for me.” Her footsteps were determined as she crossed to him. She stopped inches from his position. He could smell the shampoo Haneam made specifically for members of the Sebastos House mingling with the essence that was his Rajni. The smell was sw
eeter to him than all of the gardens below them. Would any woman ever smell quite as beautiful to him? He doubted it.

  It took a moment for her words to settle in his mind. “Book? What book?”

  “I found this on your shelf that first day. I’ve finally finished it. You wrote it. Starting in the year 1621, I think the first entry said. I need to know who you wrote it for.” A small feminine hand wrapped around his wrist. He turned his arm, so that his palm faced up.

  She placed a book in his hand and he wrapped his fingers around it. “I remember this. It was the first journal I kept in English. I am not even sure why I chose that language. A part of me must have known...” “So?”

  “Why is this book so important to you? It was just a journal of my thoughts.”

  “Addressed to a woman. A woman that you obviously loved, even though you’d never met her. I need to know who that woman was.”

  “Is. I have never denied that the book was written for one woman. And we both know that woman is you. Tell me, Michaela, what you want me to do. The choice is yours.”

  “I want you to let me learn to trust you. To learn what this Rajni thing means. I told Emily I thought I loved you, but the rational part of me is saying that’s crazy.”

  “But what does your heart tell you?”

  “That this is where I belong. That this is where I want to be. It doesn’t make any sense, not to me. I know you accept it, but you’ve...”

  “Had more than six hundred years to get used to the idea. I understand that.” Dare he even begin to hope? He tightened his grip on the book.

  She tightened her grip on him. “So this book is mine?”

  “Yes.” What had he written in that tome? What was in that book that had convinced her that their bond was so real? It had been so long he could not remember. “Why does it matter so?”

  “Because the man who wrote this journal is one I want to know. Are you the same man?”

  “I do not know. Much time has passed since I wrote that. I have filled at least four other journals, since.”

  “I would like to read them. If you don’t mind. You said something in this journal that has stayed with me. Among other things. The moon above me mocks all the love I have for you. I can hear his cruel, cold words, echoing the beating of mine heart. Were only he as dark as the pain that fills my soul. Did you mean this? And are you sure it was about me?”

  Theo brought his other hand up to cover hers where it rested on his wrist. The words struck on a memory. For a moment it felt as if his heart stopped beating as remembered pain filled him. “I meant every word, every line. Six hundred years I was without you. It was never easy. Only the faith I had in my Goddess and my family kept me sane. Gave me my strength.”

  “I see. I’ve felt the same. The same loneliness, even with my family around me. I don’t want to feel that any longer.”

  “Perhaps together we will not.” Theo brushed his fingers against her face, against the soft strands of the red gold hair he could not see. “Perhaps we should just try, take each day as it comes. Together.”

  “I would like that.”

  His heart began beating again when she stretched up and brushed her lips against his. She pulled away before he could react. “I want to be the woman in this journal. I want to be your strength. Will you let me?”

  Theo released the book and it thudded to the balcony. His hands slipped around her waist and he pulled her up and closer. His lips were more insistent on hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she leaned into him.

  He kissed her for several long moments, then pulled away. “If we do not stop now, my dearest little love, I will not be stopping this night. Is that what you want?”

  “Yes. You will be the first.” She laughed when he lifted her into his arms, the sound soft and breathless. And infinitely precious to him.

  “And the last.” He carried her into his suite and closed the balcony door behind them. “Goddess give me strength, I will be the last.”

  *****************

  LIVE OR DIE

  Copyright © 2012

  Chapter One

  Her hand trailed through the warm water, stirring the raspberry bath beads in until they foamed. Raspberry was her favorite smell, tart and tangy and strong. And she liked her bath water a bit on the hot side. A hot, fragrant bath was what she needed after the day she’d had, after what she had discovered—her grandfather was a thief. He’d stolen thousands upon thousands of dollars from the company he’d created and funneled the money to some laboratory in the middle of Colorado. He’d stolen from the family—all her relatives but one worked for the company. And now the funding for her research was in serious jeopardy.

  Her cousin Emily was now CEO of the company, her cousin Mallory held an MBA in accounting, but she spent most of her time helping Emily with various things. Mickey, the lawyer, was pitching in to help them all figure out just what Grandfather had done, and what was legal and what wasn’t.

  It was her job as a physician to review Grandfather’s research to determine what about the lab in Boulder was so vital that he’d funneled sixteen billion dollars there over a period of twenty years.

  A furry head nudged her hand and Josey rubbed the silky black and white fur. Free sensed her unease. The Border collie always did. Her fingers sank into the thick coat and Josey murmured reassuring words to the dog that she herself couldn’t hear. The dog made a noise against her hand, a whine Josey felt rather than heard. What would it be like to hear the sound of a dog barking again? She thought she remembered what it was like, but she’d lost ninety-five percent of her hearing at the age of six. There were so many sounds she’d forgotten.

  That was one reason why she felt other sensations so strongly. Sensations like hot, raspberry-scented bathwater soaking into her skin. Such things provided her solace on nights like this one. She felt the thunder as it shook the small two-bedroom bungalow she shared with her younger sister on the north edge of her grandfather’s property. They all lived there on his land somewhere—her, her sister, her cousins, aunts and uncles. And Josey enjoyed it, though the family tended to be a bit smothering where she was concerned.

  Steam rose from the bath and Josey closed her eyes as she inhaled. She released the zipper on the trousers she wore and dropped them to the rug beside the tub. The blouse took seconds to remove. She dropped it next to the trousers; she’d pick them up when she was done. Now she just needed to relax and forget things for a while.

  ****

  Cormac Jareth watched the woman for several long moments as she soaked in the tub, eyes closed and head thrown back from his place in the shadows. Despite her ancestry, despite them being of different species, his body had reacted quickly to her striptease, to the sight of platinum blonde hair and a delicate feminine body. She was average for a human woman, but still short for his Kind. Her curves were smaller than he normally preferred, but her breasts looked sweet. Her ass was just rounded enough to say female. Her hair was completely straight and long, but she’d pulled it up off her neck before sinking into the water.

  He’d never envied water before, but this sweet-smelling bath got to touch her everywhere.

  It was almost a pity he’d come to kidnap her. To take her back with him and kill her. He would far rather take the time to savor this little human morsel. He'd put good money down that she was as sweet as she looked. Pity. He smiled as he stepped from the shadows and spoke. “Hello, little one. Pity I cannot join you in that tub.”

  He expected a scream, a rush to cover herself with a towel. Even demands to know who he was and what he wanted.

  He got nothing. He’d taken easy control of the canine in the corner. The small dog sat watching him with a glazed, if unworried, expression. It was an ability he’d held for nearly six hundred years—the capturing of creatures’ minds—and he did so effortlessly. He tried speaking again. “Ignoring me will not make me leave you be. I am taking you with me. Then we shall feast together.”

  Her eyes didn’t
open. It gave him pause. Had she not heard him? He snapped his fingers, the sound cracking in the silence. Still nothing.

  He slipped into her head effortlessly, getting tangled in a complex feminine brain within half a second. There were no true sounds, just a type of humming stillness that he had encountered before. Deaf, then.

  Interesting.

  He settled in her mind for a few moments, learning of her what he could. She was Jocelyn, daughter of the youngest son Jason. A doctor, educated at Johns Hopkins. She worked for Taniss Industries like all the rest of the Taniss filth.

  He’d never despised anyone the way he did Leo Taniss and his issue. The older human was responsible for the deaths of thousands of Dardaptoans. The ancient vampiric race had few enemies amongst the humans, but those with the name Taniss topped that list.

  Leo Taniss had taken Dardaptoans to his lab in Boulder and done horrific and deadly experiments on them. Most died; only three out of the known thousands taken had survived—Cormac’s only sister, her brother-in-law, and his adopted niece, Jierra. Ji had been only a three-week-old babe when Cormac had found her lying amongst the rest of her dead family. Two years after he’d found his sister Kindara rocking the dead body of her Rajni, or mate, Iavius. Iavius’s teenaged sister lay beside him, gone forever. Erastine had been a beautiful child with a bright future. No more.

  And it was all that sociopath Leo Taniss’s doing.

  Tonight Cormac would wreak his vengeance upon the man’s granddaughter. His friends—Rydere, Aodhan, and Theodoric—were doing the same against three other Taniss grandchildren. The women would disappear forever, and then they would take Leo Taniss to show him the tortures the women would have endured before finally being drained dry at Dardaptoan hands.